Why do we even care if our significant other is cheating on us? No. Really? Are we sad we lost everything we thought meant something to us? We have to start over? We were not the one who was doing the cheating?
I have struggled with this concept and I assume most of us have. Always feeling like I wasn’t enough. Why couldn’t I have done more? What did I do wrong?
Then I got married. And this feeling only intensified. Now I had someone legally bound to me. Getting out of this union would be much more difficult versus dating someone. I have way more on the line now right? What would I do if my husband cheated on me?
Someone once told me that no matter how many people tell you something, you won’t listen until you are ready to hear it. I think this is true for everything in life. Relationships, life advice, anything.
Here is a crazy thought. If I did get cheated on by my spouse, I would be just fine. In fact, it would be a blessing because I could move on and find someone who actually loved me. And that would be great. Yea, the legal part sucks. But being in a relationship where someone is banging someone else, sucks more.
I think I would hate moving my shit out more than I would getting a divorce if my husband was cheating. In the words of the young kids today, “Bye Felicia.”
So many people say, “I could never live without him/her.” You did just fine before you met, you will be even better after. Where is your self confidence to go through life alone? Get it together. You don’t breathe because of someone. And clearly if they cheated, they were not your soulmate so let’s keep moving forward here and stop feeling sorry for ourselves.
So many people are obsessed with not getting divorced that they would rather be unhappy forever than deal with a year of legal bullshit and be free. Does not getting a divorce when it’s needed make you a hero? Does it make you better than the next guy who did? I think it makes you weak and selfish for holding both parties hostage to finding actual love and being happy.
Get over yourself. Find your confidence, get your life together, and move on. Most likely your family hates your spouse equally if they have been cheating on you. And while they will ‘support’ you, they secretly hope you will get your mind right and leave. I bet they will even help you pack. (wink)
I can hear you now, “Well we have kids, it’s not the same.”
Oh, ok. So let’s think this through. Your kids see you miserable their entire lives, fighting, avoiding each other. Then they grow up and think that is what love is and before you know it, they too are on their way to divorce. (I have no facts to back this up. I’m just shooting from the hip here)
But I think it does hold some truth. When I grew up, I saw my parents always treat each other with respect and showed affection. I grew up wanting the same things. I think we mirror what we see in our younger years. It really sets a tone for the rest of our lives.
Or how about, “Well I have no job, I can’t leave.”
First of all, if you have a social security number, you can work. Don’t be a fucking helpless princess. Get your resume together, go back to school, do whatever you wanted to do before you met Mr./Mrs. Cheater Pants. That ‘can’t leave’ mentality is garbage.
You should not allow yourself to be completely dependent on another person. Shame on you for depending on someone else to pay your bills, make you happy, give you somewhere to live, and not be an active member of society.
Also, don’t get on my ass about stay at home moms/dads. I also think these individuals should be contributing and working in some form. You choose to stay at home and not work. You can get yourself out of that hole if your relationship/marriage crumbles. At least have some schooling or trade experience under your belt.
This world is full of constant excuses and I’m sick of people hiding behind them and expecting us to feel sorry for you. Get your life together, go make your own money, find what you love, and live your life. [mailerlite_form form_id=1]